Intentional Grandparenting (part 1 of 2)
How Scripture teaches grandparents to have a lasting influence on future generations
By Ruth Carter – March 4. 2023, excerpted from Answers in Genesis
The season of grandparenting caught me somewhat unprepared. I was certainly aware that our four sons were now men. They were nearing the finish line with college, preparing to start careers, interested in getting married and starting their own families. But where did this leave us as potential grandma and grandpa? What was that role supposed to look like?
We looked around and saw so many friends enjoying their retirement with newfound freedom and joy. Now that the kids were out of the house, friends were traveling the world—perhaps “cruising the world” would be more exact. The Caribbean was a common destination. Some headed north for a fabulous Alaskan getaway. Maybe we would get on board one day too. Some friends were looking into retirement homes in warmer climates. But while dreaming about how to finish out our lives, we never realized the Bible had so much to say about it.
A Christian Heritage
I grew up in a home where my parents were the primary teachers of spiritual truth to me and my siblings. We had family devotions every day. We memorized Scripture passages together. Church attendance was never optional. And more than all of these disciplines, my mom and dad lived what it meant to be Christ followers. Clearly my parents were the primary influencers of spiritual formation for me. Today, parents still remain the number one authority in the life of a child, providing instruction on how to live biblically and modeling a Christian lifestyle. For many years, the church was seen as second to parents in teaching spiritual truth to children. A “good Christian family” would make sure their kids were in Sunday school every Sunday. But today, researchers tell us the paradigm has shifted. Parents’ church attendance, and therefore their kids’ attendance, is so sporadic that grandparents have become the second most important influencer in a child’s life. If we hold such a coveted position, are there instructions in the Bible to help us be effective as grandparents?
It’s interesting that Scripture responds with a resounding “yes!” Deut. 4:9 is one of the first references with instruction for grandparents. Moses was addressing the children of Israel on how to “do life” once they entered the promised land. He began with a sharp warning: “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.” In other words, take personal inventory first to ensure that you are in a proper relationship with the Lord your God, then “Make them known to your children and your children’s children.” A national leader in grandparenting ministry, Dr. Josh Mulvihill comments that God wants us to think “multigenerationally” when it comes to raising children.
Psalm 78 is another historical narrative about God’s leading the children of Israel. Verses 4–8 review again the importance of one generation rehearsing the “glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders” to the next generation and the next generation, “even the children not yet born [so] they in turn will teach their own children” (NLT)! It’s a chain reaction over four generations.
I have had several years of “marinating” in these principles and now understand that God wants me to fill the same role. God wants spiritual truth and stories of his faithfulness to be passed down from generation to generation in the Carter family. It is his most effective mechanism for helping our offspring know Jesus. Our role as grandparents is not just to have fun with our grands … we have the crucial responsibility to pass along our heritage of faith to them as well.
